Sunday, June 13, 2021
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mommy, I wanted to talk to you so badly not long ago, it wasn’t the first time i had wished i could call you… however, it was the first time i had forgotten you are gone.
mom, i don’t know how i am supposed to live without you, my heart physically hurts. i miss you so much… not a day goes by that i don’t cry for you. i think of you often and fear that i will forget the sound of your voice.
i keep your obituary open on my ipad, i read it a lot, because i am sill denying that you are really gone. i read it and think to myself, “nope, this isn’t my mom and this isn’t my reality”
mommy, i don’t want any of this to be real
i just cannot bring myself to believe you are really gone and that i will never hear you say my name ((nickname)) “jen”
who will console me when i am sick and in need of my mommy?
if i ever have another surgery, you won’t be there when i wake from anesthesia!!!
i would give most anything to bring you home and healthy again but, i cannot
i don’t know what to do/say/feel anymore
i will never forget you mom
i will love you forever
(( ironic that purple is the color used to represent “liver disease” and heartbreaking for those you left behind))
